I’ve got a spot of cognitive dissonance about Brunei; on the one hand, I’m pretty sure there’s no point going unless you’re doing something as stupid as trying to tick off countries from a list … but on the other hand … well, I ended up having a fine old time in Brunei.

I think that was mostly due to my brilliant guide, who had the unenviable task of showing me round a dry country during Eid al-Adha, i.e. no bars, and most of the country was closed for the holiday. But I had a great boat ride in the mangroves, saw a fantastic fireflies display, loads of monkeys, an amazing sunset, and ate some wonderful and unusual food (those two being mutually exclusive).   But it also has to be said that one of the most interesting things about Brunei was crossing the border to Malaysia for a slap-up boozy dinner on the second night.

The country was interesting and boring, the hotel was amazing and disappointing, the people were incredibly welcoming and spectacularly inhospitable, and the food was both fantastic and quite dreadful.  Cognotive dissonance.

IMG_0199
Kampong Ayer – 40,000 people live in this water village.
IMG_0204
I can’t remember if this is the one I was asked to leave, or the one I wasn’t allowed in.
IMG_0218
Ladies and Gentlemen – the saddest sight in the world: a swim up bar in a dry country.
IMG_0196
Portable martini kit – made for trips to places like Brunei, where you’re only allowed a cheeky gin if you’re a non-Muslim in the privacy of your own hotel room.
IMG_0226
The police station in the water village.
IMG_0207
Thank you for not putting your shoes on the stairs.
IMG_0219
The Empire Hotel & Country Club. A 6 star hotel no less. The staff were great, the rooms were roomy, it had pools and beaches and a lagoon and a golf course … but there was still just something not quite right about it that I can’t put my finger on …
IMG_0201
Breakfast of champions.  And it was very much needed; I wasn’t expecting such a cracking hangover on holiday in a dry country.
IMG_0162
It’s not all mosques and museums and trips to Malaysia, there are mangroves and monkeys and firefly displays.
IMG_0190
The Sultan Omar Ali Saifuddin Mosque at night.
IMG_0195
Bowl of Ambuyat – traditional Bruneian fare. It’s like tapioca starch with a fermented durian dip. You gotta try new food you’ve never had. (The chicken satay and rice back up meal is just out of shot.)
IMG_0220
Ooh Madam, we’ve upgraded you to a seaview room. Digger at no extra charge.
IMG_0234
Sneaking out to a Malaysian frontier town for a proper drink. Fern salad and chicken arse skewers to soak up the whiskey and beer.
IMG_0244
Royal Brunei Airways – telling it like it is.

2 Replies to “Brunei”

Leave a comment